I LOVE MY MUFFIN TOP

I am sheltered behind the cupboard in the kitchen, shielded hopefully from my kids. I carefully tear open the Coffee Crisp and pop it into my mouth. I slip the wrapper in the garbage and chomp away at the sweet chocolate. Some may judge me for what I am doing, but I don’t care. It has been a hard mom day. Nothing dramatic, just long.
I laugh at my old self, pre-kids and after. I used to stress on my waist. I felt like I should always be on a diet. My problem is that in the early days after my kids were born I ate. I ate a lot. The quick meals that were laden with fat were too hard to pass up. I also ate to self-soothe the loneliness being at home brought.
I gained, I lost and gained again. My “Aha moment” came when my sister was diagnosed with cancer again. She had been healthy and excercised. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to life’s obstacles. It was an awakening to me. If I ate 80 percent of the time well, I could indulge the other 20 percent.
I hoist my pants up and brush against my muffin top. I used to hate it and obsessed about it. I had two babies. I went through some health issues. I am also am the age that my mother died of cancer. Not one of my loved ones ever wished they had more salad on their death bed- my grandpa had asked for a sweet from Scotland.
I join my daughters in the playroom. I hope I can teach them the very valuable lesson I just figured out this year: Life is too short to abstain from indulging now and again.
Hello, my name is Danielle and I LOVE MY MUFFIN TOP!!!!

Happy Halloween!!!!!

My Daughters: You Can Be

Watching my young daughters play with their Barbie Dream house, I wish to freeze frame this moment. While I love being a mom, I am scared of how to parent them when they get older. I remember playing with Barbie’s and planning their futures when I was a young girl. Unlike my friends, I dreamed of my dolls being lawyers and actresses. Never a wedding or a stay-at-home mom entered my Barbie’s Malibu home. Since my mom died when I was ten years old, I do not even have a frame of reference of what a mother should do as teenage hood arrives.

Then I remember why I played court dates and stage plays with my dolls. It was because of what my mom instilled in me. It was her dearest gift to me. I knew I could do anything. I have accomplished many wonderful things in my life, and I have two miracle daughters to guide into being the wonderful girls they already are.

I hear their fast conversations as they script out what Barbie and her friends are doing. Ken uses manners and asks if Barbie wants to drive. When they go out for dinner, they both pay. This makes me a little less scared. Maybe some of my childhood has rubbed off on them. I strive to instill in my daughters that they can do whatever they can dream. We have a picture of a person hanging off a cliff with the words, “What the mind can conceive and believe, it will achieve.”

When Mom Central brought me on board to the Barbie I Can Be Campaign I leapt. There is a new website being developed called www.bethevoice.ca. It will help moms in raising their daughters to be smarter, happier and more fulfilled. Canadian Parenting coach, Terry Carson, will provide perspectives, wisdom and experiences to visitors to the site. We all strive to learn how to be better in parenting in some way. Terry will be providing tips and ideas as the in-house expert monthly.

National” I Can Be Day” is taking place this October 27th, 2011. Participating schools will be inviting moms to come in and speak about their careers. I look forward to participating in what I can to be a better mom on the National Day and every day.

Join the discussion on Facebook.

To my daughters, you can be anything.

Disclosure- I am participating in the Barbie I Can Be campaign by Mom Central Canada on behalf of Mattel Canada. I received
compensation as a thank you for my participation. The opinions on this blog are my own.

My Kinder Moments

Just in time for school, Halloween and every occasion, Kinder comes out with a wonderful new Facebook application called Kinder Moments. If you have a holiday pic or a just-cause pic, you can upload your picture to Kinder Moments to frame it online.

When this announcement came I began looking through my Facebook album pictures for a moment I wanted to share. I came across the one below and was taken back in time. The cold January day had us a little stir crazy at home. When the sun came out I bundled my two- and-a-half year old and ten-month old daughters out for a walk to the store for some groceries.

On the way back, my oldest begged to stop at the park. I was already cold and had a million things to do at home before dinner. I relented when I had seen her keen face. My youngest was barely crawling at that point. So, I nudged her in the toddler swing. It was a little hard to do considering her snow pants and winter jacket.

Just then, my oldest ran across the park screaming “I want to push my sister!!” I was hesitant because I was concerned she wouldn’t do it slow. I stood by, ready to jump. She faced her sister and started to push her sister nice and slow. The squeals coming from my youngest jolted me to get my camera. When I hit click I realized I captured a pure sister moment. I almost felt like I was intruding. The swing lasted for a few moments. Then, in true toddler fashion, they were done.

It is a few years later from that precious day as I play around with the application of My Kinder Moments. My view is, I would have preferred an easier landscape vs. portrait option smoother. I did love how fast and easy it was to navigate and post to Facebook to share with my friends and family.

Thank you to Kinder for making this Moment perfect.

Have you liked Kinder on Facebook? Look on the left side of the page is a tab labeled My Kinder Moments; this is where you can frame your Kinder Moments. And this month there is a prize!!

Every time you load a picture this month, you will be entered to win $500 gift card to treat yourself to a new Fall Wardrobe. I can’t win as I am a #kindermom but would love for my friends to win.

Disclosure: I am part of the Kinder Mom program and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.

My Bonus Baby turns 3

Today is filled with such emotion for me. My youngest (and last baby) turns three years old.  This post will be short so I can spend the day celebrating my miracles.

Three doctors in 2005 told me I could not have children. Three months after the last appointment my first babe was conceived.

Two years later, my world rocked again in motherhood with a bonus child after a long c-section. I wish someone in the OR could have told me how amazing she will be.  I will never have another child. I really can’t.  Why would I want another when I have two beautiful girls.

I am so proud of her. She is a happy and healthy girl who makes me humbled to be her mom.

Happy Birthday sweet J who fell asleep frequently in the high chair.

Thank you for letting me be your mommy.

xoxo

Mommy

I Had To Stop Comparing My Kids

As posted on The Yummy Mummy YMC

Watching my two daughters playing on the playground, it strikes me how different they are. In the early days of my youngest, I would compare her to her older sister. When she wouldn’t hit the milestones like her sister, I worried. I thought there was something wrong.

My oldest daughter didn’t crawl. At one year old, she began running and talking in sentences. Today she acts years older than her five years of age. My youngest crawled at thirteen months and walked at fifteen months. My youngest at almost three years old doesn’t speak much. And when she does speak, it is baby babble. She is like a child of the age of 18 months.

I see my oldest racing around with other kids at the park, squealing with delight. I look over to spy my youngest playing by herself in the sand. She is happy as well doing her own thing. I need to remember this moment.

As we go through the painfully slow process to see if our youngest may be autistic or if she is just globally delayed, I feel that I can’t complain. I have two beautiful daughters. It began to feel like by comparing them, I was judging them. They are precious in their own unique ways. Taking a side-step and just enjoying my girls is freeing.

I ask them both if they are hungry. They race to me. As I dish out the goldfish crackers, I look at them standing side-by-side. I embrace their uniqueness. They’re amazing in their own path.

I Got What I wished for, but….

Without as much as a cry when I waved good-bye, I walked out the door of my youngest daughter’s preschool. The feeling of missing a part of me still remained when I walked to the car alone, drove away alone and wondered what to do with myself. I never planned anything just in case I had to stay at school as before.

My stomach grumbled. So, I hit the nearest restaurant for some breakfast. After the first cup of hot coffee I realized how exhilarated I felt. The first few fast bites of my food made me laugh. I didn’t have to rush. I didn’t have to cut up my children’s food or ask them to quiet down.

When I used the restroom I didn’t need to find the biggest stall to fit us into. I could use the small one, alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.

I remembered longing for this day five years ago when I was lucky to have five minutes alone just to sleep.  I love my children so much. I am fortunate to have a part-time work at home job alongside raising them.

When my oldest started kindergarten, it startled me how quiet the house was when she wasn’t there. Then, the days went by fast and I looked forward to picking her up from school. Now, it’s my turn for a wee break. To work or to do something for me. I used to think it was selfish but not now.

With my batteries re-charged, I can be a better mom and less grumpy.

WAHM needs to be WAM

I caught the tail end of a conversation on Twitter with @vancouvermom and @TwellMedia on changing WAHM to WAM (work-anywhere-mom.) I agreed that I am a Work Anywhere Mom, since I am writing this in the car while my two-year-old is taking a car nap. Rarely do I actually work-at-home when my two daughters are running around me and needing me. It’s challenging to say the least to make tight deadlines. So, I do it outside the home.

My youngest is happily playing at pre-school now. My oldest is in Full-Day kindergarten. For the first few weeks I followed a small schedule for myself to enjoy the five hours I get kid-free a week:

  1. Go out for coffee with cell phone close by and enjoy a hot cup or two in peace.
  2. Get some articles outlined while sitting alone.
  3. I saved my phone calls for that time. To have an uninterrupted phone call was such a pleasure.
  4. Go window shopping.
  5. Enjoy some non-kid T.V. at home with an open couch.

And please, DO NOT do housework for the first while.

I am sure when both girls are in full-time school I will be working more at home. It is amazing how much I can get done when alone.

I update my calendar, filling in my family’s schedule and it shocks me. Christmas break is in over two months. I look back to my sleeping preschooler. I predict I might get a chance to quickly go through the drive-thru nearby for some coffee before she wakes up. I might as well sneak some time while I can. And that is okay.

My name is Danielle. I am a WAM!

I am thankful

So many reasons to not post today. Yet, its my wonderful daughters that motivate me to write. This birthday is a hard one. I turn 38. My mom never saw 39. Since today is thanksgiving I am going to list what I am thankful for:

1. I am thankful for my husband of almost 19 years. He has been my best friend since 1990.

2. I am thankful for our two miracle daughters. I never thought I wanted to be a mom until I met them.

3. I am thankful that medicine has improved in the cancer fight. My younger sister is proof of that.

4. I am thankful to be in a Social Media age. I adore those I have met through Twitter and other channels.

5. I am thankful that I am still here.

Thank you for reading.

Happy Thanksgiving.

What are you most thankful for?

My thanks on my birthday.

So many reasons to not post today. Yet, its my wonderful daughters that motivate me to write. This birthday is a hard one. I turn 38. My mom never saw 39. Since today is thanksgiving I am going to list what I am thankful for:

1. I am thankful for my husband of almost 19 years. He has been my best friend since 1990.

2. I am thankful for our two miracle daughters. I never thought I wanted to be a mom until I met them.

3. I am thankful that medicine has improved in the cancer fight. My younger sister is proof of that.

4. I am thankful to be in a Social Media age. I adore those I have met through Twitter and other channels.

5. I am thankful that I am still here.

Thank you for reading.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I Hate This Birthday..

Mere days until I turn 38. While I
try to stay positive and look forward to a day of no-cooking, I can’t do it. My
heart feels so heavy. My shoulders ache of the pressure. As I get older, I see my birthday as just any
other day-less gifts, still have diapers to change and all the other domestic
duties that is my life now. This birthday mirrors the age my mother died. I hate this birthday.

I am petrified to have the same fate
my mom had. I can’t fathom to leave my girls like my mom had to against her
will. She was, and remains an amazing mom. I keep up with my medical tests to
prevent any similar horror. My younger sister has won again on her battles with
that ugly disease. There is hope that my daughters will see a cure in their
time on the evening news.

With every genie-in-a-bottle wish,
I would like to fast forward to know that I turn 39. I despise the feeling that
I feel, but tis my truth. I need that
confirmation that I will make it past my mother’s fate.

I have no idea how to make this
year a win. All I know is to focus on my girls and keep writing. It’s all I
know. And if a great gift falls in my lap, I will allow it.