From the Archives: My Mama Aha Moment

me and my mom

My eyes drink in the last sentence as I close Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman. I click the nightlight off to make the room dark so my darling husband can keep sleeping. I stare at the ceiling that is illuminated by the clock radio at the foot of the bed.

My heart is racing with a newfound warp speed. Feeling like I could float out of this bed, what I just read clears the dark fog that has enveloped me since my mom died. For the first time since she died I feel like someone truly knows what I went, and am going, through.

Throughout the pages I absorbed other woman’s’ stories of how they learned to live with the pain. What struck me was the message to give myself-the power to accept her passing and allow myself permission to grieve.

After her passing (I was ten), I was not allowed to talk about her because it would upset my dad, sister or grandma. To bury the empty void she left plagued me until now. It is how I have been parenting my young girls; hide the grief until it boils over into my present life. It harmed my soul.

I watch the car lights flicker through the blinds realizing the stories I started writing about missing my mom was opening the floodgates. Every piece I pen allows me to voice the immense grief. It may be the reason why I am so motivated to write. I started to write my mom stories in fear that I will have the same fate as my mom. Now, it fills a lost void that she leaves to this day.

Today marks the twenty-sixth anniversary that I stood in her hospital room and said good-bye.

Tonight is the first time I am grieving unabashedly. I let go to grieve, to wash away the pain so I can be more present for my daughters. They deserve it. I close my eyes but I am not tired. Tears of relief slide down my cheeks. I am feeling like I am a hot air balloon that has been lost and now grounded.

I cry myself into my dreams.

Before the alarm goes off, I am pounced by my three-year-old wanting breakfast. I hug her tight. I hug her tight feeling young and free.

In many ways I am.

Last Happy Picture of Me and My mom

Monster Fun with this #KinderMom



Spying the Monsters, Inc. DVD on our shelf makes me smile every time. I remember when our oldest was two and would want to be in mommy and daddy’s bed because of the monsters under her bed. It never occurred to her that she had to cross the floor past them to get to us. Of course, we knew it was because she wanted to be close to us. Her new sister had just arrived. We did not mind one bit.

When Monsters Inc. became available to own we scooped up our own copy. We watched it as a family one night, not thinking we may have added to our toddler’s creative imagination. That night she ran into our room shaking about Randall (character from the movie.) When we checked her room and told her it was clear of Randall, she climbed back into bed. After many stories, songs and reassurances, she still would not go to sleep. Then, the door creaked open and our cat snuck in.

Our daughter saw him and bolted upright with delight. She told me it was ok. Our kitty will make sure all the monsters stay away. Ever since then she slept well under the protection of our monster-scarer kitty. Just like Sully did for Boo.

It is my pleasure help introduce for the first time that every specially marked Monsters University Kinder® Surprise® packages are guaranteed to contain 100% licensed toys. Your kids will have fun (and you too) watching Mike and Sully go to school while enjoying a special treat.

Check out Kinder Canada Facebook page for the new toy gallery and vote for your new favorite Kinder® Surprise® Monsters University toy collection.

I found it really hard to pick just one! As a parent, I love that Disney Pixar included funny lines for just for us! Can’t wait to see it!

Have you seen it? How old are your kids?

Disclosure: I’m part of the KINDER® Mom program and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.


Books for the Motherless Mom


After searching for years I have found these four books a great help to fill the void since my mom died.

Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman

This book explores the many ways that losing a mother can affect almost every aspect and passage of a woman’s life. Hope built the book on interviews with hundreds of mother-loss survivors. This life-affirming book is now newly expanded to reflect the author’s personal experience. Now married and a mother of young children herself, Edelman better understands how the effects of mother loss can change over time, and in light of new relationships.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

At 26, Cheryl thought she had lost everything. Her mother’s devastating death, her family scattered, and her own marriage was soon destroyed. With nothing more to lose, she made the impulsive decision of her life: Hike the Pacific Crest trail from the Mojave Desert through California and Oregon to Washington State, alone. She had no experience as a long-distance hiker. This is the vivid story of a young woman forging ahead against all odds on a journey that maddened, strengthened, and ultimately healed her.

Motherless Mothers by Hope Edelman

Now the mother of two young girls, Edelman set out to learn how the loss of a mother to death or abandonment can affect the ways women raise their own children. From a survey of more than one thousand women comes, “Motherless Mothers”, the enlightening and inspiring next step in the motherless journey.

Hope opens up and reveals the unique anxieties and desires these mothers experience as they raise their children without the help of a living maternal guide.   She brings to light how the experience of loss directly impacts the ways in which these women parent their own children.

Paris in Love by Eloisa James

After her mother’s death and her own battle with cancer, bestselling author Eloisa James took a leap that many people dream about by selling her house, taking a sabbatical from her job as a Shakespeare professor, and moving her family to Paris. Thisis a play-by-play of her joyful year in one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
Without the Western domestic tasks to do, Eloisa revels in the ordinary pleasures of life—discovering corner museums that tourists overlook to walking from one end of Paris to another. She copes with her Italian husband’s notions of quality time, her two hilarious teenage children and her mother-in-law Marina’s raised eyebrow in the kitchen.

Here is a list I found on Goodreads that may help you find a book this season:

Did I miss on? What would you recommend?

A Thought Provoking Summer Read

The Search Angel by Tish Cohen

The Search Angel

By Tish Cohen

Eleanor Sweet is a 35 year old who runs a swank baby store. Her husband and herself have tried for years to get pregnant. After being on a long waitlist with an adoption agency, they get the call that they have a baby girl ready to be adopted by them.

Sylvie’s room is painted and furnished ready when Jonathan gets cold feet. Suddenly Eleanor is consumed with having to face her own adoption and finding her past. She has always been reluctant to search for her birth mother out of respect to her parents who adopted her. It explained when Eleanor was dating Jonathan that she was afraid to get close, in case he left. However, with her daughter’s impending arrival she meets with a Search Angel, Isabelle.

Just when Eleanor feels isolated and alone, many people show up to lend support for her and Sylvie: her depressed Great Dane, Noel from next door, or her feisty pregnant staffer.  She learns how her present desires are intertwined with her own history.

The book is out now. I highly recommend it for a weekend read.  It was hard to put down. If you are looking for a more raw, humorous and a page-turning story, this is it.  This book ties in nicely with what I have written about infertility, adoption and other motherhood topics this year.  I use my space to support moms of all shapes and sizes. Also, the best kind of mom is one who just wants to be one, no matter how.

A Sample Platter of Recent Posts

Family pic with The WigglesAs summer is in full swing, here are a sample platter of posts you may or may not have read in this space. Hope your summer is going well.


Our girls still celebrate the time we met The Wiggles.

I celebrate all parents who just want to be parents.

The one time Nia Vardalos called my house.


I look forward to getting back to the swing of things soon.

How is your summer so far?

Echo Project Read Around the Word

And The Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini

I had the opportunity to dive into a few current releases in efforts to make a few suggestions to you on what to read this summer. The story, And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini makes my must-to-read list. From the get-go, the imagery enraptures you into the rich plot.

Due to the many POV’s and fast-paced storylines, this is a page-turner you cannot walk away from.

After mom died while giving birth to Pari, Abdullah ( her brother) practically raised her. With a stepmom, half-brother and hard-working father, the children had only each other to lean on. Their dad ends p taking Abdullah and Pari on a long journey to Kabul for work.

What happens on that journey remains with and characters that will have you staying up late. The colourful words will resonate with you as it did with me long after you turn the last page.

“I had run once before from someone who needed me, and the remorse I still feel I will take with me to the grave.”

“ There’s more to kindness than signing checks in public.”

Along with myself, Penguin wants to draw your attention to an amazing project in celebrating the release of Khaled Hosseini’s new book And The Mountains Echoed . With over thirty-eight million copies of The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns sold worldwide, Khaled Hosseini is one of most read novelists in the world. As part of this exciting publishing event, they have launched something truly unique.

The Echo Project  is a page-for-page digital exploration of And the Mountains Echoed:  a loving complement to the book filled with personal contributions by those who have read and loved the book. There will be 402 thought-provoking interpretations—video, illustrations, quotes, photographs, poems and more—one web page for each page of the novel, created by fans, artists, media, booksellers and even Khaled. Check it out and submit your own suggestion. You can be a part of this fun project.

If you are looking for a non-fluffy read to take to the beach, suggest to your Book Club or bring on summer vacation, this is it!