As seen in The Momoir Project
Life as a motherless stay-at-home mom can be stressful. Trying to add working at home is just insanity. On a really extreme day, I am staring outside my kitchen window, my arms half-way into the sink of dirty breakfast dishes. I am watching the cars drive past on the slick road.With a huge heavy sigh, I release out my breath trying to calm my fried nerves.
I am trying to distract myself from the looming deadlines and the piles of housework still to do today.
My back is towards my girls who are at the kitchen table finishing their lunch. The morning filled with my half-attempts to clean house and referee my daughters. My sleep-deprived brain is fuelling my frustration.
I wish someone can watch my daughters so I may nap. My husband works an average ten hour days to keep our household afloat. There are no relatives around to call to relieve me for an hour. All my pre-natal friends have since gone back to work after their maternity leave.
My body aches with the craving of my quilt wrapped over me with my head buried deep into my soft pillow. The writing deadlines will get done as they always do. Maybe with a nap I can attack the work.
I go through the motions of washing the dishes and drying them. My body feels so heavy.
My ears perk up to an odd sound that shocks me out of my inner monologue. I slowly turn to the view of my one-year-old giggling at her older sister’s silly face. The giggle pierces the fog that enveloped the room.
They turn to me once they realize I am watching. Happy tears spring from my eyes when I discover that we are all smiling at each other.
A calm feeling wraps me like a hug from a loved one. If I had the nap I so desired, I would have missed the sweet sound of a belly laugh of my youngest daughter. That would have been regrettable for the rest of my life. I can sleep later.