Taking the time to be Mom

Over the past three years since joining Twitter and the Blogosphere I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of wonderful and smart people. Connections made through Twitter have landed me many published gigs. I am and will always be grateful.

During that time life has changed for my family. Our oldest has started her school career. She needed me more than ever as she adjusted to life in school. Her notes home from the teacher reflected that. Our youngest has been diagnosed with ASD (autism spectrum disorder.) That alone has been an overtime job in parenting. A lot has drifted to the wayside including my writing.

It made me struggle to get back to my computer to write. I felt guilty while I was penning my next blog and my girls needed me in their own special way. I realized this summer that I needed to be better to myself, to be more realistic in my expectations.  I know writing will always be here. One day I will have the time and energy to tap away at my laptop.

In the meantime, I am grateful to be here for my daughters as my mom did in her short time with me. Earlier this year I turned older than my mom lived. That in itself was the worst turmoil I’ve dealt with since she died in 1984. I lost my writing voice. My girls deserve to have their mom present as I no longer have mine. When my girls are older, I won’t regret not spending enough time at the computer.

I will be showing up through the wonderful sites that have published my work. I merged my two personal blogs into one to reflect my new direction. It really is what started my writing, being motherless.   The internet has been wonderful to me. I hope it is for you.

Please share what moment of clarity has brought you peace. Or are you searching for answers?

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