For years I fought with the overwhelming rollercoaster of depression, anxiety and mixed emotions. I give out as much as I can for my family and friends. I know I could always do more. I do not ask for much in return. Feelings of “I am not worth it” invade me when the dark times hit me hard.
On October 10th of this year I turned 39 years old. The age that my mother did not make it to see. It is the fact that I felt guilty about for a long time on why am I still living and she is not. Days before my impending birthday I walked into my house to a surprise party. When I opened my eyes on the 10th I felt a little lighter. The day was a regular day in momville. However, that I was the recipient of kindness, and that warmed my heart. A song, a scrapbook and more gifts left me humbled and grateful.
Ten days later, my youngest turned 4. With all her challenges, one the sweetest gifts she got was to meet her idols, The Wiggles. We were all privileged to meet the troupe and see the show from the floor, all because of the kindness of their organization. Our oldest cannot stop talking about The Wiggles and drawing creative pictures. Our youngest loves looking at the pictures with her and her boys.
This past Sunday, I was asked to speak on a blogging panel. The topics were varied from starting, getting paid and finding inspiration to pen a blog. I was honored to talk about my passion to write alongside of my boss at The Momoir Project, publisher of West Coast Families and Kerry of Crunchy Carpets.
Well I made it to 39. I will seek to learn from this fall to keep paying it forward. I am still here for a reason. For that, I am so grateful.
What are you grateful for today?