How to Argue Around Kids

As a mom of two young girls, it is challenging to say the least to have an adult discussion. To get to an argumentative state is all too easy. I worry about not saying cross words in front of them. When my husband and I finally meet after a long workday for me (at home) and him at his job, we are tired. We rarely have dates outside of the house due to lack of free childcare. Pressure builds that is clouded with the absence of quality couple time.
Considering we had been a couple for a long time before we became parents, our friendship runs deep. Having said that, we have had many ugly arguments and angry whispers in the moonlight hours when the kids finally go to bed.
Slowly we found other ways to argue. I can feel the anger in a text message from my cell phone in my pocket, especially when he is across the room. I turn my shoulder and type with a passionate vengeance.
When my husband has his fill of not being heard, he cleans house, putting out garbage and other minor tasks to either clear his head or keep busy. It is rare, but it does make the house look good.
After the kids go down, it is just us. We have our date nights on the couch with the baby monitor near. When the girls move out, it will be just the two of us again. We will have lots to still talk about. Although I am not in a hurry to see our miracle daughters go yet.
AS the heat from our anger dissipates, we realize that it is a waste to sweat the small stuff. Now when we argue, we know when to walk away and breathe. Chances are that the anger is never about the situation but by our day.

2 thoughts on “How to Argue Around Kids

  1. I’ve always believed that it’s ok to have a few, small disagreements around our kids. It’s how they learn that a fight or disagreement isn’t the end of the world, and that mommy and daddy can have different opinions on things, but still love each other. Now, I would never scream or yell at DH around my kids (I wouldn’t do that alone either) but working things out with words, I believe is a good lesson for kids.


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