I Got What I wished for, but….

Without as much as a cry when I waved good-bye, I walked out the door of my youngest daughter’s preschool. The feeling of missing a part of me still remained when I walked to the car alone, drove away alone and wondered what to do with myself. I never planned anything just in case I had to stay at school as before.

My stomach grumbled. So, I hit the nearest restaurant for some breakfast. After the first cup of hot coffee I realized how exhilarated I felt. The first few fast bites of my food made me laugh. I didn’t have to rush. I didn’t have to cut up my children’s food or ask them to quiet down.

When I used the restroom I didn’t need to find the biggest stall to fit us into. I could use the small one, alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.

I remembered longing for this day five years ago when I was lucky to have five minutes alone just to sleep.  I love my children so much. I am fortunate to have a part-time work at home job alongside raising them.

When my oldest started kindergarten, it startled me how quiet the house was when she wasn’t there. Then, the days went by fast and I looked forward to picking her up from school. Now, it’s my turn for a wee break. To work or to do something for me. I used to think it was selfish but not now.

With my batteries re-charged, I can be a better mom and less grumpy.

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