Tag: motherless daughters

Confessions from D

Posted in Mommy minute, moms, Motherless MamaLeave a comment

Before I started this blog I wrote two books for my kids on our cat Harley who died while I was pregnant with our second daughter. When my newest baby was mere months old I began to write about being a mom while missing mine. Off-topics like book reviews and moments with my marriage filled in the blanks. One thing I had not yet delved into was a more personal topic-me.  So today, I am going to confess more about me.

  1. As a tween I loved Bryan Adams. When I first saw him in concert the year after my mom died, I found comfort in his words. I still enjoy seeing him in concert today. My girls know his music. I hope to meet him one day to tell him what his music has done for me.
  2. As a tween my favorite after school snack was saltines with margarine and ketchup. As an adult I am glad I outgrew that craving. Now it is all about a glass of white wine and a good book. J
  3. I have kept all of my purses since I was a teenager. My life’s history is shown throughout the styles and where I was at the time in each purse. It is the one big thing I shared in common with my mom. She loved purses. When I need to connect with her I window shop for purses and feel her with me.
  4. I have never seen a Twilight movie. I tried to read the books and they put me to sleep. Ten pages on Edward’s skin???
  5. I may be 38 ½ years old and my mom died when I was ten, but I still miss her terribly. I am sad that my daughters never had the chance to have a doting grandma. I know she would have been a cool grandma. She was a cool mom.

That is my confessions for now. Care to share one of yours??? Spill it!

Motherless Parenting

Posted in Cancer, cancer sucks, Loss Of My Mom, Mommy minute, moms, Motherless MamaLeave a comment

When I mention to an acquaintance that my mom died a long time ago, I am met with the pity look. The label gets stamped on my forehead like a marquee. Sometimes the other person asks how I take breaks or go to appointments. I answer, I don’t get breaks and my kids come with me everywhere. It isn’t easy, but it’s our life. I do not have access to free babysitting. As a result, my kids are exposed to a wide variety of life lessons. Parenting motherless leaves open the trials and tribulations of our daily lives.

One thing that I do struggle with, what I think I have to do, is cooking. I never was a great cook before kids and I am even worse now. I am a packaged food mom. I have tried some recipes but have failed.  It is just that I would rather be in the playroom and not the kitchen. It is not in me to cook from scratch. I might one day try again to do more cooking. My mom was a crock pot cook before she got sick. We had cookies from a package. We survived.

When it comes to discipline, I know I am lax. I never know when I should  ‘parent’ and when I should let something go. Simple parenting lessons that I would ask my mom if she were here. I know I must sweat the small stuff and yet let big stuff slide. My kids must be confused.

When something parenting comes up that I do not have an answer to, I always wonder what would my mom do? I find that to be an enlightening question. Knowing her last few years must have changed a lot on how she parented, I learn to relax and have fun more with my kids. My girls will get into trouble as they grow and test boundaries.  Go with the flow, right?

I will continue to make mistakes as we grow together as a family unit. Each kid is different.  Yes, it is hard some days when I do not know the right answer. Is there ever a right question?