An IVF Confession #ivf4bc

shutterstock_88446694Watching *Cathy console her little boy, *Bryan, you would think they are just like any other mother and child at the playground. She sends him off after a few sips of water and goldfish. He races off to meet his friends. Cathy watches him go with a look that beams of pride. Only, their story is so much more than pride.

We chat a bit and she slowly opens up about her story. Her and her husband tried for years to get pregnant. When the traditional calendar watching and other means did not work they wondered what to do next. Due to their cultural values and family, they did not know if they could go through in vitro fertilization or adoption. For a long time, both of their parents would ask when would the couple make them grandparents. At family holiday gatherings, as they saw their nieces and nephews race around the home, there was always a needling relative asking when is it their time.

People mean well when they ask what they think is an innocent question. Only it feels like an arrow through their heart. They want to be a family so badly. They have great jobs and a beautiful home. One day Cathy was at her doctor’s for the latest test results on her egg count when she spied an IVF brochure on the table in the waiting room. She slipped it into her purse to look at it in private.

Later that night she talked it over with her husband. They agreed to start the procedure in private. They would cash in their Savings account to pay for the treatments. After three attempts and one miscarriage, they got pregnant with Bryan.

Their family does not know. You can imagine how happy they are along with their families to have a beautiful happy son.

I watch them pack up and leave. Their hands joined together as they walk home. I can’t help but think of them and other families who may hold a similar story. Every holiday that a couple goes childless opens up the heartache. Not everyone is like Cathy who had the financial means to have the IVF treatments.

With all the benefits to get public funding for IVF treatments, I wonder if this year will be BC’s year to get it?

Personally, I believe the parents who want to be parents by any and every means are the best kind. With some provinces and countries world-wide providing public funding for IVF, will more BC families get help too?

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*Names have been changed to protect their privacy.

Disclosure: I am a valued member of the #IVF4BC blog team. As such, I received compensation, but my opinion is my own.

Letters To My Dead Mother: The First Christmas

December 25th, 1984


It’s our first Christmas without you. There are little decorations up. Dad told me last week that you left a lot of bills so I could only pick one present. I had to help him pick a few things for my baby sister because she still believes in Santa Claus. I have not believed since last year so I really didn’t care. I just don’t care to celebrate anymore. On top of it all, we are at your parents’ house for Christmas because Dad had to work or he did not want us home. I don’t know what else to say so I will say Merry Christmas. I have to help set up for the big dinner tonight.