The Work/Family Balance Myth

When life gets busy my blog sits there like a lost puppy. The struggle I have is how do work-at-home moms do it all. Reading about their kids and clean houses I wonder if they are embellishing just a bit. Unless I have a village of housekeepers, nannies and cooks, I cannot have a clean house and meet deadlines.
This fall is no exception. I was asked last week at the playground how do I have so much time to be at school every day. I smiled and replied that I do not have time not to take my girls to school. I am lucky to have the lifestyle and career that when my kids need me, I can drop everything. I have said no to more work over summer vacations. Time is going too quickly.
Between putting on my mom hat, I began a new adventure with City Mom Now. I love all my various jobs. What I do not like is the mundane housework. I got a conditional pass in Home Economics so cooking is very limited. I am lucky that my husband never receives a Honey-Do list from me. He just dives in when he can.
I used to stress about if I should work at all at home when the housework is behind. We do not have the resources to outsource extra help. We do not have family to fall back on. I am beginning to realize that to balance all of it is a myth. A fairy tale that I spun when I tried to keep up.
The truth is I can’t. My family is number one. My career that I am passionate about has the flexibility that I need. Balance will change every day. Some days I will win at my to-do list and sometimes I will not get past Number two. It is time to write a new fairy tale.


How do you balance your life?

When I am not here, I am there.

Hope your summer is going well. Of course, it is too fast when you are having fun. I had the great opportunity to be published on the following sites. I hope you enjoy them as well the rest of the great reads.

What is your favorite website and why?

Bringing Back The Break, My Way


This is an entry to the Yummy Mummy Club contest they held recently. Obviously, I lost. I wanted to share with you what I do to give myself a break. J

We are in the kitchen of one my mommy friends. I just took a bite of a canapé she ‘just whipped up.’ My mouth waters at the just-enough melted cheese on top. I spy lunch fixings near her stove. My inner-mind shakes at the amazing feast she has planned. She has a part-time job and cooks. I am amazed that we are friends.

Full confession: I am not a cook, nor a baker. I flunked Home Economics twice. The teacher took pity on me and gave me a pass finally. I grew up with TV dinners and packaged foods. I think I turned out okay.

When I became a mom twice over, I was scared. Visions of what Supermom means gripped my panic full blown. I tried to bake and cook every day. After many failed attempts, I am still getting the smoke stains out of the ceiling. What worried me most was that if I was spending so much time in the kitchen, I was not playing with my young children. Time is going too fast.

That realization hurt my mama heart. I let go of Supermom ideal that I thought I could be. I am me. I am their mom, flaws and all. So, I began to think of what I could do to provide meals for my family and still play with my kids. Below are my now-not-secrets on how I do it.

1. I began to resort to making big batches of my limited recipes and freezing extras for a later date. For example:  I would take a veggie chili from the freezer to put it on top of a pan of tortilla chips, spread grated cheese and viola, chili nachos.

2. We have themed food days. Macaroni Mondays. Waffle Weekends. French Fry Fridays. Our kids know they can have their favorite foods this time of the week.

3. When time is super-crunched or sicknesses have run through the house, I utilize a local speciality food store called M&M Meat shop. They have an extensive menu. You can order online and pick it up at the closest location. Quick and fresh appies, main entrees to desserts makes it worth the reasonable price. You can freeze what you do not need right away.

4. Every Friday we have pizza and a movie at dinner time. If we do not have a pizza ready to be made at home, we do order out. At the end-of-the-week, I am done.

5. I am not June Cleaver, and nor Kathy Buckworth. However, I shade on the side of Peggy Bundy and purchase fruit bowls and veggie plates at the grocery store to balance my family’s nutrition.

I do not use a microwave and I do not know how to bake or cook from scratch easily.  I love spending as much time as possible with my children.

We continue to enjoy the feast our friend has made. She is a natural in the kitchen.  I am not despairing that I cannot reciprocate the delectable lunch. I know it is not in my genes to be Supermom (whatever that is.) It is my mantra that we all deserve a break. We need to let go of what we think we “should” do and live in the moment.



A Mother’s Rant


My blood is about to steam out of my ears. I am beyond all control now. I bite my lip in effort to try not to say anything I will regret. I mean, of course, they don’t know any better. Maybe I lead them astray when my silence is construed to acceptance instead. But really, would it kill them to remember just once.

I give my kids everything, including the last pieces of garlic bread, or sharing my spaghetti from my bowl.  I even take the heel of toast as no one else likes them. I do what every mother does-give everything to my household. Through lost sleep years and never going to the bathroom alone, I do it. I do it because I know one day it will change. They will not need me as much.

I clutch my fork in the last straw of self-control and deeply breathe. I look around at the dirty dishes strewn through the top of the table. Pieces of wrapping paper at our feet. I feel like I am about to cry. I never ask for much. I am ready to make my demand clear. I see the glint in my five-year-olds eyes looking at dessert. When my dear husband reaches the cake to give her the last slice, I can’t take it.

“It’s my birthday cake and I will have the last slice!” I bellow.  Silence surrounds the table. Their stunned looks almost make me regret saying anything. Almost.

“Of course, honey.” My smart husband says as he slides the last slice onto my plate.

I take the first sweet bite and am glad with my decision. Sometimes Moms need to have their cake and eat it too, if only one day a year.


Taking a Writing Break

‘Mommy, more, please.” My tenacious four-year-old asks.

I fill up the bucket one more time to fill the water table. The squeals of my girls pierce the backyard. Their toys are scattered over the lawn. Summer heat is forgotten when the sprinkler and water table are the front and centre attraction.

I stretch out in the lounge chair and watch them splash around. It is unfathomable that summer is almost over. For two months we have been busy soaking up every last moment. In a blink, my oldest will be in kindergarten. Even my two-year-old will be exploring pre-school life.

What I have not done is catch up on my personal to-do list. Writing projects have been shelved for the past two months. While it is challenging to write with these two racing around, I also did not want to miss the last summer before full-time school begins. Gone will be the days of making plans as we go along with our days.

“Mommy, look.” My oldest calls out as she goes into a handstand.

“Perfect!” I shout out. I give her thumbs up as she races around the backyard.

I have a notebook filled with brief notes of memories we have made. I will take the time to write again as I am now. Filling my blog and journal of what the summer meant to me. Meanwhile getting wet and enjoying ice cream cones is the most important right now.

What do you remember about summer?



Is Honesty The Best Policy for your Kids?

“Mommy, why can’t I have chocolate now?” as my four-year-olds scrunchy face is staring at me. I think she is trying to stare me down. My mind races for an answer she might actually hear. I tried simple ‘no’ and that backfired to here.

“You cannot have chocolate for breakfast because it would not taste good. Chocolate is only a snack food in the afternoons. That is when it tastes the best.” My lie sits out there like a whip cream cloud.

“Oh. Okay.” She races off to play.

I watch her and the guilt of lying to my girl weighs heavily on my brain. Every hour when my kids are awake I am faced with (as every parent) how much truth you tell your children.  When our loved ones passed away we told our kids what happened in toddler terms. We didn’t lie. We told them how they got sick and never got better. Now they are angels and feel better.  

When a friend doesn’t call for a play date I am faced with the question of ‘why?’  My heart knows I can’t shelter them for too long. Reality and other school children will infiltrate their world.  If it is a serious issue I will address what is needed. We have our family values and hope our children will uphold them as they grow up.

As I watch my two daughters run around squealing with happiness, I vow to keep them as innocent as I can. Knowing that is what I can do for now as their mom lightens my heart. I will always try to be as honest as I can with them, but in their terms they can understand.  When they are honest with me on who broke what, they are never punished. There are consequences for their actions, but they are never reprimanded for being honest.

Okay maybe the chocolate lie was off kilter from the truth. How do you handle the day-to-day honesty with your kids?

Home with Two Sick Kids

My back is starting to scream its painful cramp. I am curled on the couch, literally curled. In my lap is my sick four-year-old daughter. She has a bad cold paired with an ear infection. My two-year-old is conked out in the rocker chair not far away from us.

Today would have been the first day back-to-school from Spring Break. When my oldest said she didn’t want to go to school I didn’t argue. It is serious when she states that. I try to not look at the clock for the millionth time to see if I need to get lunch ready or a snack or a medicine dose.

Dang-its only 11am. What should I do? Normally I love home days. I love not rushing us three out the door so early. On the TV is a Barbie movie and my mind is starting to turn to zombie. The sleepless nights with the girls is catching up big time.

We have baked muffins. We have colored. We have watched three movies. We have been on every floor in the townhouse. No one is bugging to go outside despite the sun bursting through the drapes.

I ignore the stack of work sitting by my desk. Nothing too late, I tell myself. This is why I work-at-home so I can be here for my kids in sickness and health.  I do crave a freshly brewed coffee and time to savor it. There is no one to call and beg for a delivery.

My oldest girl opens her eyes for a hug. Ok. Sometimes you do need to just stop and hug.

*There are grammar mistakes, I know. I am typing with one hand. Need to feel productive.*